A Reflection on Friendship and Inclusion

During a recent inspection of a school, I had the opportunity to interact with students of the 3rd standard. Young children often embody a beautiful blend of innocence and inquisitiveness. As we talked, a spontaneous question arose from somewhere deep within my conscience:“Is there any student in this class who does not have a friend?”

For a moment, there was silence — soft and hesitant. No one responded. I repeated the question to ensure that all children had understood it. Gradually, they began looking around, exchanging glances and smiles with their friends. Then, one little boy slowly raised his hand.

As I walked closer, all eyes turned toward him. He looked down, his face clouded with sadness. I turned again to the class and asked,“Is there anyone who would like to make him a friend?”

To my surprise, only two or three hands went up. But before the joy of the moment could settle, a few voices broke the silence.
“He hits others,” said one.
“He uses abusive language,” added another.
“He steals,” came the next remark.

What followed was a long chain of accusations. I stood silent — thoughtful and reflective. I gently advised the boy to improve his behaviour and requested the teacher to help him socialise better; otherwise, he might never experience the joy of belonging — a vital part of every child’s holistic development.

Later, in another school, I tried the same exercise — this time accompanied by the Principal and Headmistress. Once again, we found a few students who had no friends, often because of their aggressive / deviant or unsociable behaviour. These small yet profound observations reminded us that inclusion is not automatic — it requires patience, compassion, and conscious nurturing. Every child deserves not only education but also acceptance.

Steps Schools Can Take

(a) Identify students in each class, if any, who do not have friends within their peer group.
(b) Teachers should hold one-to-one interactions to understand the underlying causes of such behaviour.
(c) If necessary, involve parents and counsellors for guidance and support.
(d) Pair such students with empathetic and caring classmates.
(e) Principals and Headmasters should monitor their progress and encourage positive socialisation. Even the smallest act of kindness can help a lonely child smile, feel accepted, and truly bloom.