INTER PERSONAL RELATIONS OF ADOLESCENTS IN SCHOOLS

Adolescents live in a world of their own. Whatever time they spend in school leaves an indelible impression on their growth. They undergo a lot of stress and strain due to biological and environmental factors as they restrain to share their feelings with their parents and teachers. They remain in the strong grip of powerful emotions of love, hatred and jealousy. They want to experiment the adult behavior.

Most of school going adolescents keep some friends in their own school and also a few from other neighbouring schools with whom they come in contact during their tuition or coaching classes. And at times they also develop enmity with each other. By and large their behaviour remains under watch in schools. If they are involved in any indiscipline activity-schools try to discipline them through counselling and by  some other administrative measures. But when they attend coaching classes where students from different schools come to attend classes-here they do not remain under vigil like schools. They develop relationships with each other which go unnoticed by parents. The motto of tuition centers is to earn money and not to discipline them. These relations, not always, turn out to be detrimental.

There is a one usual scene in the vicinity of almost all schools at the time of their closing in which students especially boys form small groups and entangle themselves into brawls. Some of them may also be seen taking selfies on their mobiles which they secretly take to their schools.

 And most of the times the reason of such brawls is the relation of friendship of some boys with their girl class fellows and vice-versa. Adolescents, now a days, as a matter of routine, propose each other on social networking sites like Instagram, Facebook, Messanger etc. They remain in deep conversation through their mobiles even during late night hours. Parents feel that their children are doing some constructive academic work on internet. But some of the students betray their parents and go waist deep into relationships.  These adolescents share the details of their relationships with their friends. Suppose there is a girl who has more than one boyfriend and vice- versa and if this information leaks out either on social media or otherwise -it becomes the big reason of animosity and results into ugly fights outside schools. Sometimes these quarrels become fatal.

 During our school days we could not even gather courage to talk to girls. Personally I do not mind boys and girls talking to each other in co-educational schools. But they need to learn not to cross limits.

A couple of days back I was informed by a teacher that a student of class X was seen by some of his class fellows keeping a tobacco like substance under his upper lip. They claimed that a wrapper was hidden by him in toilet. They had also retrieved the wrapper from there. There were 4 boys of the same class   who stated that he was in the habit of using some intoxicants. They also said that he would come late and sometimes also bunked classes. When I looked at that boy, the right hand side of his lower lip was swollen. I asked him the reason. He replied that he was in the habit of biting his lower lip for the last some years. I further asked him whether he had used the contents of the wrapper found in the toilet-he said that he had never used that and added that he was being falsely implicated. I could clearly discern that those boys who complained about this boy simply wanted him to improve

They also informed me that there was another boy who had left the school due to his failure in Class IX two years ago he was in a regular touch with this boy. That boy, in fact , was squarely responsible for his downfall.

After counselling this student I was confident that he had agreed to improve. I advised him to remain focused on his studies and he promised to do that. I thought that the issue is resolved.

But next day that boy created an unexpected scene. He was very quick to leave the school and had hatched a plot to teach a lesson to one of those 4 boys who had informed the teacher about his actions.

As per his plan he was waiting him on the way. He took him to a nearby park where he had already arranged a gang of boys who were eagerly waiting for them to come. Hardly had he reached the park when someone hit him with a foot on his back. He fell down and then he was hit with a volley of sticks and tube rods. His tongue got bitten. His satchel could save him as he had kept it tightly on his back during attack. But the real culprit was standing like a villain and silently watching him being roughed up. The one who simply wanted improvement in his friend’s behaviour  was reaping the fruit of his noble work. Had he not run from the spot, it would have been fatal.

Next day, the culprit was attending the school as usual as if nothing had happened. I called him to my office and asked him about the last day’s incident which was already brought to my notice by his class teacher during night. I had also spoken to father of the boy who was attacked. He wanted to inform the police about the incident. I asked him not to go to Police as yet.

The culprit feigned in such a way as if he had done nothing. He said that his class fellow was beaten by some other boys and he did not even touch him. In a way he was right!! This case is still unresolved and counselling sessions are on.

 How the emotion of revenge can be so powerful in adolescents may be judged from this incident.

Each parent dreams of a bright future of her/his children. They want to see them grow to their full potential. And this is what each teacher also wishes. I may like to request parents to keep a close watch on their school going children. They should know about their friends and their family backgrounds. Parents may also search the school bags of their children regularly. Their Facebook and Instagram accounts also need to be watched. Where parents are digitally illiterate, their children  take the liberty to misuse internet. Let it be used for educational purposes! If done so-it may act as a blessing.